I Don't Feel Like a Cowgirl Anymore

A blonde decides to try horseback ridding, even tho she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along seemingly ignorant of its' slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrups, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness. When to her great fortune, Bobby, the Walmart greeter, sees her and unplugs the the horse!

That soo reminds me of myself and what happened to me!! No..com' on now..I haven't been to Walmart lately! Give me a break! Several years ago, while riding someone's else's trusted stead, I miraculously defied my own terrifying death! ha ha! hey, could have! But really, I wish I could say that I often wake up in a cold, dripping, sweat....crying and screaming out loud: "Stop the Horse, Someone ..Please stop this horse!" Now... I do have plenty of terrible recurring nightmares ...but not a one about my face inches from the hard ground with the sight of the horses' hoofs mere inches from kicking in my scull. I just don't.. so far ..it's been just ..a memory.

I was at a gymkhana, of sorts, with my livestock 4-H kids, when one of the other 4-h horse leaders who was putting on the class asked if I would care to ride, maybe thinking I (ha ha) could give a few pointers; Well.... what a bunch of good pointers I gave! 1) How to get your foot caught up in the stirrup when a horse is in a full buck ! 2)How to be drug across the arena with your horse at a full gallop! 3) How to get your body twisted around so your face is in the dirt ( and in doing so I tore the ligaments and the meniscus to my knee, bruising the muscles of my leg....leading to sergury, but that is really a whole ..'nother story!) And 4) how to get unstuck ..yeahhh...by turning your body, leg and foot back around..(how'd I do that? got me?) ..unhooking the said foot, while other riders are chasing the horse, trying to stop it from slamming you into the railing! But I got back on the horse.. being I knew I was a cowgirl. (not that particular horse..mind you)...because I love cows and horses! Always have. Go ask my sister. She used to hate the drawings I'd paste all over the walls of our bedroom when I was little..I have to admit, they resembled nothing of any kind of horse or cow on record.

I've enjoyed my cowgirl life for some years now but something has happened. Now, things have changed, other ..stuff keeps getting in the way of me riding my horse(s). I'm letting them get so out of shape..this beautiful creature whose muscles were so chiseled and fit. No .. I'm not talking about me, but thanks anyway! My granddaughter and grandson can't wait for the chance to get on horseback, much like me when I was their age. We three have gone out many times this spring... thru to fall, and I 've put them up on the horses, we've tested their knowlegde of riding, practiced washing and brushing, and learned to respect the ways of a horse, but then I never did ride! I used to be the die hard. When my sons were young..we'd often trail ride for hours. I'd saddle up and my youngest son, who was but a baby would cry to go with me, so I would pull him up front of me, we would never get too far down the trail whereas he would fall asleep. (and then my arms would fall asleep!..he was a big boy!) I'd turn the horse around and take him back only to have him wake up.. start crying as soon as we tried to slip him off the saddle, so I'd turn out again only to have him soon fall asleep again. But I was so desperate to get in my riding time, he'd get his nap on horseback.

Yea, I know, Iam getting just a little bit older, but I know alot of people much older than me who ride alot, so that's not the reason, so I won't be using it as an excuse. And I am in worse shape than the poor ole horses but yet I know that all I have to do is get out there..we'd all get in shape. It's just that I might be just disheartened. I'm feeling like I'm not a cowgirl anymore. I think I misplaced my spirit. We don't see much of the old crowd anymore since my husbands been ill. Not going to all the goings on, the ropings and brandings, the livestock shows. We had to sell our cows because of the economy.. with the price of feed, it was just getting out of sight. I'm praying the horses aren't next... then comes the property!

Makes me sad. Who am I without my little ranch? It's been along time since I've been without a horse- I buried my 32 year old mare and I'd had her for 25 years. I will always be a cowgirl in my heart. But I want to be a cowgirl. I want my spirit back. Maybe I should get back on those horses and get to riding while I still can. And of course there always is that pretty little stud down there at Walmart that might just need some company.