Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Deadliest Catch

This episode was to be simply about hunting for some raw shrimp, a Deadly Catch, in what I thought was the safe confines of my freezer -my favorite fishing grounds!
but OH.. how the tide turned on me! It became ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS JOBS!

I could say it all started with the lightning and the rain storms we have been having lately, winds blowing so hard they even battered and soaked my opened bedroom curtains and the edge of our poop-deck ..I mean..our bed -we always sleep with the windows open next to our bed.. yes....'cause we live on the edge every single day of our lives, people! Lucky for me it was the ole man's side cause I don't swim too well! I knew I should have battened down those hatches!

Anyway, these crazy storms have been knocking out the power, and so I'll just have to blame my whole ICE AGE delima on the fact that freezers don't work that way. You know..if they keep de-frosting and re-freezing... it gets them confused and over-worked and then they go into a deep depression! And really freeze UP!
But then.. I suspect.. that ..maybe someone.. ...and I'm not naming any names.. mind you..(Ahem..munchkins) may been in my freezer and left the door ajar! Uhmm..maybe someone was looking for Otter Pops?

Now, I don't live in Alaska, although I wouldn't mind moving up North.. And I don't have a crew, BUT I am the captain of my own boat and I decided I was going in! Ok.. this is not the Bering Sea but this job was not for the faint-at -heart. I should of had a starring role the Dirtiest Jobs.."Hey Mike Rowe ..YooHoo!..where are you?"

The camera angles were tough to get under these dangerous conditions, , since I'm not an octopus and I only have 2 hands.. or do octopus'ses have 8 feet?...anywho like I said..I don't have a crew! or a decent camera!

What I thought was to be a fishing derby turned into a full blown rescue attempt! It was truly scary and grueling..all that deep, cold white, sharp icy stuff everywhere, piled so high..I couldn't see a thing! I knew desperate conditions called for desperate measures..And I knew there just had to be something good under that ice that just needed to be freed! You save the whales..I'll save the OTTERS!
So I got out the old hammer .. MR. CLAWS! (I use him for everything..pulling weeds, stirring paint, throwing at the rabbits and itching head)
You know..this is kind of like raising kids..this job didn't come with a manuel and...

...then it happened..the injury.

Can you see it? The blood and guts ? ok ..the guts weren't mine but they could have been! .. I think... those were chicken livers?....anyway..I could have died out there alone! Couldn't someone have called for the Coast Guard?

Was all that blood from ME or was the 10 year roast beef defrosting?
Did I not have the right safety gear on? Was I using the wrong tools? Next time it's oven mitts and an a snow pick for me! (Psst! but don't tell OSSA about this 'cause if I don't stop bleeding I'm might hafta turn in a claim.) Oh is short for us on the High Seas (insert theme music here: "Come Sail Away")

Yes, I was gravely injured but I persevered on. Chipping and clawing away at those treacherous ice flows! Then I saw a glimpse of THEM! hurray! The OTTERS! Their happy little faces where screaming to me to set them free! They had been in despair and darkness for so long!

With renewed inspiration, I forgot all about my dying finger and forged on and freed the colorful little critters, but sadly..not all stories end the way you want them to. The Otter Pops had been in the deep freeze too long! Baluck! yucky! So, sadly, I gave them a decent burial at sea..I mean, in garbage!

What some people will do for a little sweet ice!
My work here is done!


Joy Heather said...

LOL,LOL, are so have made my day today..i woke up feeling very miserable..but then i looked at your blog and it made me laugh.... and i thought if Kay can cope with sub arctic conditions, frost bite, and possible long term skin burn due to the extreme temperatures in the deep unexplored depths of her freezer...just to feed her family...then surely i have an easy life in comparison, and should cheer are a Martyr and i salute you...LoL

Tatersmama said...

That's not fair... you used pics of MY freezer out in the shed!
Ermm... didn't you?
You mean MINE looks like that as well?
I think I need to replace the seals on mine, because I'm sure not admitting to not closing the door tightly...

And the Van de Kamps? Oh my! What I wouldn't give for Van de Kamps!

I'm glad you survived your little Artic trek to save the Otters, but next time wear some safety gear!

Tatersmama said...

Is your finger still sore? I keep checking back, but maybe you're busy eating up all that lovely Van de Kamps, eh?

The Old Guy is strutting around like a peacock with all the praise he's gotten lately, so I guess I'm gonna have to knuckle down again before it all goes to his head. lol!

Lupus... et tu Brutus?
I've been living with it for 18+ years now, but lately it's been getting harder to do certain things.
Sucks, doesn't it?

Tatersmama said...

Are you STILL nursing that sore finger?
Well I know you aren't too sore because you've been commenting, but I keep coming back, nonetheless!
(I loved the Reno-Tahoe post, because it's *home* - so many lovely shots of places I remember!)

Hey, great tip too, on promising the old guy the MOON. I wonder if thermal underwear counts as sexy though?

Hmm... 3 comments in a row. I wonder if this makes me a stalker?

Faithful said...

T-mamma~ you are too funny! yes .."I SURVIVED" (i tell you..that day could have made a tv show!) My family has had a lttle rough patch here is all.. with the hubby being on kidney dialysis and other such stuff and don't forget my deadly injury! LOL. Are you from around Tahoe? or the bay area? Wow! Small world! Thanks for stopping by.