The Deadliest Catch

This episode was to be simply about hunting for some raw shrimp, a Deadly Catch, in what I thought was the safe confines of my freezer -my favorite fishing grounds!

but OH.. how the tide turned on me! It became ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS JOBS!




I could say it all started with the lightning and the rain storms we have been having lately, winds blowing so hard they even battered and soaked my opened bedroom curtains and the edge of our poop-deck ..I mean..our bed -we always sleep with the windows open next to our bed.. yes....'cause we live on the edge every single day of our lives, people! Lucky for me it was the ole man's side cause I don't swim too well! I knew I should have battened down those hatches!

Anyway, these crazy storms have been knocking out the power, and so I'll just have to blame my whole ICE AGE delima on the fact that freezers don't work that way. You know..if they keep de-frosting and re-freezing... it gets them confused and over-worked and then they go into a deep depression! And really freeze UP!

But then.. I suspect.. that ..maybe someone.. ...and I'm not naming any names.. mind you..(Ahem..munchkins) may been in my freezer and left the door ajar! Uhmm..maybe someone was looking for Otter Pops?

Now, I don't live in Alaska, although I wouldn't mind moving up North.. And I don't have a crew, BUT I am the captain of my own boat and I decided I was going in! Ok.. this is not the Bering Sea but this job was not for the faint-at -heart. I should of had a starring role the Dirtiest Jobs.."Hey Mike Rowe ..YooHoo!..where are you?"

The camera angles were tough to get under these dangerous conditions, , since I'm not an octopus and I only have 2 hands.. or do octopus'ses have 8 feet?...anywho like I said..I don't have a crew! or a decent camera!

What I thought was to be a fishing derby turned into a full blown rescue attempt! It was truly scary and grueling..all that deep, cold white, sharp icy stuff everywhere, piled so high..I couldn't see a thing! I knew desperate conditions called for desperate measures..And I knew there just had to be something good under that ice that just needed to be freed! You save the whales..I'll save the OTTERS!

So I got out the old hammer .. MR. CLAWS! (I use him for everything..pulling weeds, stirring paint, throwing at the rabbits and itching my..um... head)

You know..this is kind of like raising kids..this job didn't come with a manuel and...

...then it happened..the injury.

Can you see it? The blood and guts ? ok ..the guts weren't mine but they could have been! .. I think... those were chicken livers?....anyway..I could have died out there alone! Couldn't someone have called for the Coast Guard?

Was all that blood from ME or was the 10 year roast beef defrosting?

Did I not have the right safety gear on? Was I using the wrong tools? Next time it's oven mitts and an a snow pick for me! (Psst! but don't tell OSSA about this 'cause if I don't stop bleeding I'm might hafta turn in a claim.) Oh well...life is short for us on the High Seas (insert theme music here: "Come Sail Away")

Yes, I was gravely injured but I persevered on. Chipping and clawing away at those treacherous ice flows! Then I saw a glimpse of THEM! hurray! The OTTERS! Their happy little faces where screaming to me to set them free! They had been in despair and darkness for so long!

With renewed inspiration, I forgot all about my dying finger and forged on and freed the colorful little critters, but sadly..not all stories end the way you want them to. The Otter Pops had been in the deep freeze too long! Baluck! yucky! So, sadly, I gave them a decent burial at sea..I mean, in garbage!

What some people will do for a little sweet ice!

My work here is done!