Those little Katydids are Gonners!

The old story goes something like this: A woman named Katy fell in love with a handsome man who scorned her and instead married someone else. After the honeymoon, the couple were found DEAD in bed! The bugs began debating whether Katy could have done it or not. So if you listen carefully you can hear them debating .."KATY DID..KATY DIDN'T"

Well ..Katy...you're not the only one to hate these loud little blabber-mouths! I have become to detest the bug-gers and there won't be any debating whether 'KayKay did or KayKay didn't'..'cause this summer...I seriously..got serious and brought out the big ammo and sprayed those bug-gers with some dreaded potent neurotoxin! And those katydids are gonners! I mean... geesh.. I don't like doing chemical warfare but ..come- oonnn.. it was them or my wonderful shade! ..and so far.. they were winning! So when the tuff gets going ..the going gets tuffer...no, that's not it..well you know what I mean! see some of the damage they cause!

So now... THOSE KATYDIDS ARE GONNERS!

My sad story started last fall when my kids thought it was pretty funny when they came over and heard lots of very loud and strange noises coming from my trees. The kids were saying the noise sounded like a hissing..maybe a jet sprinkler system. Possibly UFS's?? (Unidentified Flying Snakes) I figured they were teasing me...they like to gang up on ONCE in awhile.... cause I COULD NOT HEAR ANYTHING!

I mean Really! Nothing!


(could I really be in need of a hearing aid?)

Super-Sleuth that I am..I had to do a little of my own investigating..couldn't take my kid's word for it.. I figured they just wanted me to think I was crazy so they could get their hands on my money! (Bwaaha! ha! I've got them fooled... ..I've spent all my money!) So...the next day I went out ...at dusk..and sprayed the trees with a very hard stream of water and knocked out a whole freaking village of... them large

..GREEN grasshop..I mean..crickets .... aptly named Katydids...out of the trees! Theese things exhibit mimcry and have fantastic camoflauge, with shapes and color of GREEN leaves! They hide high in the trees so you can't see them.

( HELLO! Earth to Mars...I thought the trees looked a little bedraggled and needy.....but in defense of moi..it had been really HOT!) Well, they're not fooling me anymore! I'm on to 'em.
So, then I knew .. a trip to the ear-doctor was in order..'cuz not only did my kids now think they had proof I was a little senile ..they were also telling me that this hearing- loss thing was "just part of growing old"! "Oh..no...wait a minute there kiddos...I don't think so" I said.. "you don't lose your hearing at the prime age of 36! *snort* snort*

But then.. we have over 75 trees surrounding the place so I guess these bug-ger's songs were sounding off pretty loud!

Newsflash to My Adult Children: Our human hearing is not sensitive enough to hear the Katydids entire melody because their untrasonic range exceeds above the 20KHZ upper limit of our hearing.




Not only did we have a slow start for our growing season but this spring was filled with such horrid winds along with bursts of thundering rain so bad that after my lovely lilacs bushes finally sprouted with their heavenly scented blooms, the cold gusts ripped through them..leaving only barren branches. And now sadly... these long horned grasshoppers-hybrids (although they are more closely related to crickets)were growing fat on the leaves of my lilacs, vines, flowers, plums, apple, cherry and other trees! And to think...the poor little quail kept taking the heat every time a plant would disappear over night!

Don't get these bug-gers confused with the infamous Mormon crickets that keep been moving across Nevada -which by the way are closely related to Katydids- or even the related spittle bug,the ever sooo-loud Cicadas! The katydid can be just as devastating.

Katydids are in the family of Tettigoniidae and are also known as brush crickets. They are easily distinguished from grasshoppers by the length of their filamentous antennae, which may exceed their own body length. They are nocturnal and arboreally sing in the evening, as they have sound producing organs (via striation) located on the hindquarters of their wings, the males are song producing and the females chirp in response which supposedly sounds like "Katy did..Katy didn't" ..hence the name!

I thought last fall's blast of crop protection would have been enough.. I really..thought I had them licked... ..well..not really licked..licked ..although I think I did get a little malathion in my mouth! hack! hack! My toxicological tests did come back and the dr, said I had only killed a few millions neurotransmitters, the paralysis only lasted a day and the convulsions and tremors have pretty much stopped. (just kidding!) To my dismay...those musical mating rituals, last fall, produced more than a just few summer recitals.. as their green..little offspring made their existence know this fall! If there is one thing I have learned.. is TO COUNT your bugs before they're hatched! (uhmm..do bugs really hatch?) and spray..spray..spray! and then spray some more!





So I have and did... that is ..kaykay did....but this time I have used a bad-As#..wide-spectrum insecticide! Nope..no more messing around...(and no it wasn't the product you see to your right..a good product in it's own right..as I also have alot of spiders and ants, but that's a whole 'nother story!)

Disclaimer: Do not use if irration persists or if visual changes occur ..seek medical medical attention. If you are pregnant or nursing ..consult physician before using.


E.S.E.T.J.F.Y.

Extra Special Educational Tip Just For You: here in case you did want to know and if you didn't..I won't debate it: Did you know that some say that Katydids are weather forecasters. According to wise observers..it's 3 months until the first frost after they start singing..and during the late summer when they begin calling during the day from the deep shade..you can expect frost in 6 weeks!

(This one is trying to suck up to me ..well.. I didn't buy it!)

Shoot..I didn't expect to hafta take a class in entomology..or learn the life cycles of the Tettigoniidae....and I realize my vision will never be the same..but still..I bravely took one for the team (the trees, in this case)..only next time I must wear a mask .. ....

I think I have won the battle .. (yet to be seen if I have won the war..) Although I still walk with a limp ..I think it was worth it cuz.....those Katydid's better be gonners!!!

....and oh yeah.. my doctor confirmed ..I AM TOO YOUNG TO LOSE MY HEARING DUE TO OLD AGE! Sorry..I didn't mean to yell..it's just that I wanted to make sure my kids could hear that! Doc said it was the bug-ger's high frequencing and I was experiencing a slight loss of hearing stemming from inflammation from Lupus. So there my dear offspring!